seriously so many emotions right now,
I feel awful for the way my actions have had so much impact on other people and i haven’t even noticed it.
for example, my tennis team. lately I’ve had no motivation or drive at all to be a part of the team. i hate going to practices and conditioning and its very obvious from my attitude when I’m there. I’m a horrible teammate and a bad role model for the freshman on the team. thank god one of my teammates had the balls to point this out to me, I’m gonna work on it.
another thing, my family. i am lesbian and i know its new and hard to accept. maybe i haven’t made it the easiest because of the girl i fell in love with. they say they accept the fact that i am gay, its just the person i chose to love “isn’t good enough for me”. this hurts me and i know it hurts my girlfriend too. part of me wonders if i should end our relationship because of this then the other part tells me just to hold on tighter to prove them wrong.
i know all these things are so trivial and i shouldn’t even be complaining because other people have it so much worse. I’m gonna work on less complaining and being more grateful for the things and people i do have in my life. I’m gonna work on it…im gonna change.
I drank you like the cure when maybe
you were the poison.